BLOGWORTHY

I know it's been a few (okay 5) months since I've posted. But I received this email at work today (from a coworker whose future husband is the same height as her) that was so blogworthy, I had to post it...immediately!

The copy reads: So I just was on Zappos looking for new Pumas & thought I’d look at wedding shoes (they have a wedding section). I clicked on 1” or under heel & these are the ones that popped up. There is a good selection though;) I think I’ll need to look at regular shoes…maybe some flip flops.

Apparently, if you don't want to wear hooker heels, or TOMS on your wedding day, options are scarce.

Also, if you know of any other great shoe brands/sites that don't specialize in the 5'' shoe or child variety, feel free to leave them below!

-LP

The honeymoon conundrum

Let’s talk about The Knot and their insane list of wedding to-dos. When I first signed up on the site, I received an email that said something along the lines of, “Yay! You’re engaged (finally)! The fun part’s over. Now get your ass in gear because you only have 407 DAYS to plan the best day of your life and there are a ton of people counting on you, and let’s face it, judging you…SUCKA!”

I mean, at that point, I didn’t speak WEDDING yet, so that’s what I assume it said between all the flower and cake vendor reccos.

So, I’ve been diligently attacking this list of 189 TASKS like a semi-interested pitbull, and I’m finding out that my usual LOVE for making a list and checking it twice has been overshadowed by just how overwhelming this list actually is. I mean, they have everything down to the Nth degree, including “Getting in shape for your big day!” According to the Knot that was supposed to start about 4 months ago…way to be realistic, knot. (Did you see what I did there? I used “knot,” as the sarcastic zing from the 80’s known as “not.” Dan’s so lucky to marry someone so clever!)

So after getting all the huge things out of the way, like venue, photographer, and my dress (which I’m having serious second thoughts about), I decided to take a little break. As in, I deleted every email The Knot sent me for about 2 months and pretended the ring on my finger was just a ruse so I wouldn’t get hit on in bars, or by creepy people on the train who ask me if I’m Russian, to which I smoothly reply, “No, I actually left on time today!” because I thought he asked if I was rushin’. (True Story)

Anyway, it’s time to get back into the planning groove and I just checked “Find a DJ” off and I’m thiiiiiiiiis close to checking “find a florist” and “eat some cake” off the list, so now I want to move on to something FUN. But living in Chicago and planning a wedding in Michigan, means all the FUN stuff, like eating cake or picking our flowers has to be done in trips to MI. So I thought…what could I do that falls under the FUN category and includes the internet? EASY. Look up honeymoon destinations!

The thing is, Dan and I differ immensely on our ideas of what a honeymoon should be.

My idea: Go somewhere you’ve never been and experience together. I don’t know when we’ll have another week or two to just spend on vacation, especially once we start having kids, etc…so we should use this time to do something crazy our out of the ordinary!

Dan’s idea: A honeymoon is about spending alone time with each other and having your first week or two as a married couple be uninterrupted and relaxing. Basically, he wants us to be in some honeymoon love cocoon for 2 weeks straight…which, in theory sounds romantic, but I’m afraid it may get a little boring after day 3! So we’ve narrowed it down to a few places:

Hawaii

Dan has been promising to take me to see a volcano since we didn’t get to go on the excursion in Costa Rica. But I’ve heard Hawaii is just ridiculously expensive. And the thought of trying to narrow down which Island to go to gives me anxiety. If you’ve been and you have suggestions, let me know!

St. Lucia

We have friends who went here on their honeymoon and loved it. If we decide on the all-inclusive experience, this is probably where we’ll end up. And a island hopping from one Virgin Island to another might break up the experience a little so it doesn’t seem like we spent all our time in one place.

Ireland

I’ve been dying to go back to Europe since I backpacked with my cousin in 2006 and I’ve never seen Ireland! Our honeymoon would be the perfect excuse! Dan’s already been to Ireland, but I think we could have a nice mix of relaxing and sightseeing here. Plus, we could kiss the blarney stone and start our marriage off with some “eloquence,” whatever that means!

Canada

We’d start at Niagara Falls for some romantic picture taking, and then head into Canada. Montreal in the summer? I’m not sure any of the other places I’ve listed could be better! And Dan and I have both never been, so it would be new for the two of us.

A cruise to…somewhere

Is it tacky to go on a cruise for your honeymoon? I’ve never been on one. And I’m afraid it will be so structured as to what you can and can’t do/see, that we’ll have a miserable time. I don’t want to be on a schedule, at all, on my honeymoon, but this is a VERY economical option. P.S. Doesn't this look like a cruise from the future?

I also suggested Greece, but that was shot down IMMEDIATELY, although I’m still not really sure why.

Where would you go if the decision were up to you? Or, if you’ve had a honeymoon, where was it and was it everything you BOTH wanted?

How I SPENT my Sunday

So...I'm just going to come right out and say it. I have a LOVE/HATE relationship with Target. I love it for obvious reasons...I mean where else can you get a cardigan for $22 that doesn't fall apart (I'm looking at YOU Forever 21)? But here's the thing. Every time I decide to go to Target, I know it's going to be a 2-hour trip. I can try to convince myself all I want that "I'm just going to run in for _________" and SOMEHOW I'll come out with $200 worth of stuff I didn't intend to buy. I don't know how it happens. Even when I have a list, it just does.

So yesterday, when my friend Dianna (who's a total enabler and loves Target just as I do) suggested we "just run into Target" to see if the Missoni pouf ottoman that was an online purchase, therefore was being sold for HALF OFF, was still there, I agreed in a heartbeat. It wasn't there, of course. But another one was in an even better color, so we swooped that up for $50, even though we only semi-needed it. And Dianna wouldn't let me go into the clothes (smart girl), so I jokingly pulled a cardigan off of the perimeter and ended up loving it and keeping it. Puke green with polka dots? I NEEDED IT! Did I mention I'm supposed to be SAVING for a wedding?

Dan and I are going to TRY to pay for as much of our July 2012 wedding as we can, but with the move we just made, saving isn't going so well. Oh, and I have a shopping problem. But anyway.

Then we wandered over to the bed stuff, because I've been searching for months for a blanket that Dan and I would both agree on. I haven't been able to find anything suitable because it's either too expensive or too girlie. There are A MILLION flowery vintage looking quilts out there that I know Dan would hate, so I passed them up and eventually found the ONE. It tows the line between manly and girlie with purple and gray stripes. And since Dan radiates heat like an oven when we sleep, it's the exact weigh we neededt! Thanks a lot Target for having the perfect blanket when I didn't have the budget to buy it (But I did anyway).

So after finding the cutest manket (man blanket?) ever, I realized that my current throw didn't match. And that I should probably have a throw pillow as well! So what did I do? I bought this gray and white striped thing and then headed over to Home Goods, which is conveniently across the parking lot from Target "just to see" what they had.

And boy did Home Goods have a lot.

A $100 bench in IKAT print to be exact!

What that's, you say?! You just bought an ottoman and that IKAT bench totally clashes? That would be CRAZY to buy a bench when you don't have a place for it just because it's the most beautiful bench in the world. Yes, it would be crazy. But I never claimed to be sane. So I bought it...along with a gray fuzzy throw that feels as soft as rabbit fur, but isn't really rabbit fur...because that would be gross.

So let's add this up. I went into Target for a $50 ottoman. And if Dianna and I split the cost, it would have only been $25! But we didn't split the cost because Dianna bought a table runner, serving platter and curtain rods for the apartment (that we also didn't go into Target for) and which cost as much as the Ottoman.

Actual Target spend: $170

I went into Home Goods expecting to spend $20 on a throw.

Actual Home Goods spend: $130

If I'm the lamest person for the next 2 months, it's because I'm now on a self-imposed spending freeze. But you know what's free? Coming over and sitting on my NEW BENCH with me!

Bandages on my legs and my arms for you

So we recently moved from one Chicago ’hood to another. And in exchange for leaving a neighborhood governed by the Latin Jivers (a gang of teenage boys) for a section of the city overrun with baby strollers and YPs (young professionals) we had to give up A LOT of apartment perks, LIKE:

In-unit laundry. I now have to hoof it down a flight of stairs to a dingy basement where the washer costs $1 (until it breaks, according to our landlord) and spiders are EVERYWHERE! I hate those creepy bastards (the spiders, not my landlords).* By the way, does anyone know how to break a washer so I can do my laundry for free like at our old place?

A walk-in closet. Do I sound spoiled? Probably. But my last apartment had a walk-in closet that was about the size of my new bedroom! In fact, it was so big that I didn’t realize how much stuff I had actually accumulated over the last three years because I always had room for more. I do have to say, it did feel quite liberating to get rid of a truckload of crap because it wouldn’t fit in my new child-sized bedroom. But after 2 weeks in this new apartment I’d take a walk-in closet over liberated in a heartbeat!

A sleeping arrangement that doesn’t make me want to rip my hair out. My new room is so small that to fit my dresser, I had to turn the bed sideways. This leaves only one side of the bed open, with the other three butting up against a wall. Kind of like this, but my setup isn't as cute and airy looking since there isn't a window right above the bed. The jankiness of it all, I could deal with. But Dan has this THING where he has to sleep on the outside of the bed, always, with the fan blowing ON HIS FACE. Such a pampered boy, right? This was fine at our old apartment, because my bed had space on each side of it so I didn’t feel like I was sleeping on “the inside”. Not anymore! Twice so far, I’ve woken up sandwiched between the wall and an almost coma-like fiance after a fit of sleep-cuddling. I’ve then had to throw what feels like a giant bear arm off of me to keep from freaking out!

But the claustrophobia isn’t even the worst part of our new sleeping arrangement. It’s the bruising.

You see, to get out of bed and turn off my phone alarm, I have to physically shimmy over Dan and out of the bed, without hitting his currently sprained ankle, and arms outstretched, zombie walk my way over to my dresser where my phone is tethered to the only outlet in the room! Now imagine doing this at 6 am, in the dark, after a fitful night of half-sleep because the wall is just too goddamn close. And then maybe you’ll understand why I’ve got more than a few bruises on my legs from running into things or falling off the bed as I’m trying to get out of it.

HGTV, I could really use a spot on one of your shows. Maybe send that really cute gay designer, David something, to my house to help me organize my room and remedy this situation. I’ve already got a title for the episode “Help, I’ve fallen because my fiancé needs a fan on his face!”

*Okay, I haven’t actually seen a spider because I’m too afraid to go down in the basement and do laundry, but our upstairs neighbor warned us about them! And as soon as I run out of underwear, I’m SURE I’ll see one!

I'm turning into a weirdo

Since getting engaged in April, my blogging effort has dropped dramatically. Not because I’m bored with blogging. I have so much to tell you guys! I’ve written thousands of (or at least upwards of 10) posts in my head that were never put up, mainly because I’m afraid of becoming a wedding blogger…and frankly I didn’t want to bore you with all the little details.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE reading wedding blogs. In fact, it’s become a part of my daily routine, and a personal goal of mine is to now be featured one on (preferable Green Wedding Shoes or Style Me Pretty). But in reality, my version of a “wedding” blog would probably entail me complaining about the planning process, coupled with pictures of cute, rustic, vintage DIY fun stuff I want to do for my wedding. But if you really want that, you can just check out MY PINTEREST! It’s pretty popular. I get at least one re-pin a day, mostly from the girl who has shamelessly stolen my wedding theme!

Basically, since this wedding is all-consuming, I’ve had nothing else to write about! So I decided to tell you a story of how I’m turning into a weirdo, or as some would say, a big fat nerd.

You see, I got a Kindle for my birthday. Don’t even get me started on the difference between reading a Kindle and a real book, because THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. But to get myself used to turning a digital page instead of a real one, the first books I bought on it were “The Hunger Games”. As they’re made for young adults and really freaking good, I read all three in a weekend! Don’t judge, I was in the car a lot. And after giving Dan a detailed account of each one, so he wouldn’t feel like I was sitting in the car ignoring him, (even though I was) while he drove us to a friend’s wedding and back, he called me a nerd and accused me of something so vile, I can barely type out the words.

He accused me of….

LIKING FANTASY BOOKS!

And yes, I say accused because to me, people who read fantasy books are the ultimate in nerds. They’re socially awkward. They L.A.R.P. (Live Action Role Play). They don’t read real books with substance. They’re the romance novel readers of the male persuasion. I don’t know why I have this perception, since Dan reads fantasy novels almost exclusively, and he’s none of the things I’ve mentioned above. I just do.

To prove me wrong, Dan started listing all of the things I like that he considers Fantasy and/or Sci-Fi, which personally, I consider to be way cooler than Fantasy (aliens beat magical elves every time, hands down):

Game of Thrones (the TV version) (What, just because murderous creatures are stalking the people of Winterfell and one of the main characters has dragon blood in her and can walk through fire, this is considered fantasy? Come on.)

Harry Potter (Doesn’t count. The whole world likes this. Even football players.)

True Blood (Also shouldn’t count, even though there are fairies, and werewolves, and vampires. Because there’s also A LOT of sex in that show, and we all know that people who like fantasy novels never get any. Am I right? Up top!)

Battlestar Galactica (For four years of our relationship, I refused to watch this because I considered it too nerdy. One day Dan convinced me to “just try it”…he’s good that way…and now I’m hooked. Dammit!!!)

Hunger Games (This seems more Sci-Fi, or even in the Thriller category, to me since all the magical/murderous creatures are genetically engineered, but I guess it could go either way)

Legend of the Seeker: I don’t want to talk about it. I have no excuse for why I like this show except for that I thought the main guy was cute.

So there you have it. I’m a big nerd, who likes to live in a fantasy world where fantasy books are labeled as anything but and where I’m NOT reading an R.A. Salvatore book on my Kindle, that once again Dan convinced me to “just try it,” and so far I like it.

What a great chewsome we make

I hardly ever put Dan in charge of dinner. Mainly, because I love to cook. And secondly, because he's so bad at it. He's great at the eating part. But combining ingredients that actually go together...not so much.

When I say, "What's for dinner?" Dan's favorite response is, "A SMORGASBORD!" which is usually all of the leftovers in the fridge heated up in the microwave on ONE plate that we both eat off of.

Other typical responses, "Dan's Mac 'N Cheese" which is Kraft macaroni and cheese with garlic, black pepper, crushed red pepper, some other spices I don't recognize, and Ritz crackers crushed up on top.

One time, after a long stressful date at work, I came home to egg and cheese sandwiches with a side of Stove Top.

But tonight takes the cake. I came home to something boiling on the stove. And I was happy, because that means he actually attempted to cook something and the pot wasn't large enough for mac 'n cheese. I lifted the lid and it was Italian sausage (the ones I had bought yesterday to make sausage, peppers and onions this week).

Then I saw cut up asparagus on the cutting board and got really impressed because he hates vegetables. Not so sure asparagus goes with Italian sausage, but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And then I saw corn meal.

And then I saw Texas toast (that I had purchased to go with some pasta this week).

In one fell swoop, Dan had put a kink in two of the meals I had planned for the week and I still had no idea what HE was planning.

When he finally told me, it sounded like an episode of CHOPPED. You know...that show where chefs make delicious meals out of 4 ingredients that don't go together AT ALL. Only I wasn't sold on the deliciousness part...

His plan

Italian sausage--first boiled (for no apparent reason), then fried.

Asparagus rolled in some corn meal and cooked in a frying pan. I pointed out that we didn't have any egg to bread the asparagus with. And he, very confidently said, "I've seen this done at least 30 times before. You just roll it around in the corn meal and it sticks." Okay...

The Texas toast you ask? Oh, he was going to put the Italian sausage ON it, because we didn't have any buns.

Every time Dan cooks it reminds me of one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems.

Shortened version:

If you have to dry the dishes

And you drop one on the floor—

Maybe they won’t let you

Dry the dishes anymore

The thing is, when Dan makes food, each individual piece is usually pretty good. But they aren't good TOGETHER.

This is how my food showed up.

Yes, it's a smiley face.

I may be eating my words after trying his Italian sausage, Texas toast, and cornmeal breaded asparagus feast. And if it's super delicious, I'll apologize on the internet and in person. But for now, I'm happy to sit in the living room while the smell of garlic (and maybe tabasco sauce?) assaults my nose.

The venue search is OVER!

Since we started planning this wedding a month ago, I've been saying, "When does it get fun?" And everyone's response is, "After you book the venue and get the big stuff out of the way." So guess what? I'm ready for it to be fun now! Because this weekend, we did it. We picked a venue, signed our lives away on the dotted line, and wrote a check to hold our date. Okay...Dan wrote a check, but I was cheering him on the whole time.

"Give me a D! D, you got your D, you got your D. Give me an A! A, you've got your A, you've got your A. Give me an N! N, you got your N, you got your N." And so on...

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably saw this tweet.

And then I left the 4 people who cared hanging and didn't tell you which one we picked!

Well, the pickle factory was adorable, and perfect in every way, especially in the price way, BUT it had one downfall and it's a big one. The decorations looked like they belonged in a nursing home at Christmas time.

I'm talking twig wreaths in the shape of hearts, fake ivy EVERYWHERE, and tulle. So much God damn tulle and you aren't allowed to remove any of it. Anything that was up on a wall had to stay there. Believe me, I asked 7 or 8 times. And the only tools you were allowed to decorate with is masking tape. Check out these insane rules. Even though it had the most adorable little museum in it for people to mill around during the cocktail hour, etc...

...I couldn't deal with the ivy, so we moved on to the loft space.

This space was gorgeous. It was pretty much a blank canvas to which I could do ANYTHING I WANTED!! It was the complete opposite of the pickle factory and way more modern than what I thought I wanted and I fell in love. Until I saw the price tag. At minimum, we would have spent $15,000 on the reception and our whole entire budget is $20,000, which I thought was a decent amount until we started actually looking into things. If we cut our guest list in half, we could have afforded this place. But Dan has 30 first cousins and his mom is 1 of 9, so we were screwed from the get-go.

And then we looked at the barns. They were rustic, but not dirty. They had an outdoor space for a ceremony and both came with half of the decorations I was going to buy anyway...paper lanterns, white lights, etc...

But one barn venue stood out above the other. I knew it was the place when we walked up and the owner had a cowboy hat on and not bedazzled jeans like the guy who showed us the loft space. And then I saw the bridal suite and the DANCE HALL, a separate space attached to the venue with a stage and a bar, and Dan's face said he loved it, too. It looks like it was meant for us. Sneak peek below. What do you guys think?

Bring on the food tastings and the dress buying! The two things I'm most excited about. :)

I got compromisoed

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been about 3 months since my last blogging confession.

Now, let's see...My last post was in February, so let's start there!

February...Lincoln had a birthday or something? Other than that...not much happened. Like seriously, nothing.

March...I hit my one year anniversary at work and I STILL like going to my job every day! Can you believe it? The day I have to leave that place is going to be a sad sad day because I know I'll never find a job I like as much as the one I have right now. I also went on a buying binge of stuff for Costa Rica, half of which I didn't wear. :|

April...Dan and I went to Costa Rica for 9 days. And came back engaged! We're still "living in sin," but not for that much longer.

You know, it's kind of ironic that my last post was about whether you should get to pick out your ring or not. I did get to...sort of! And, now you know what this post is really about...THE RING!

Dan's dad's friend runs estate sales and we went to look at his "inventory," which basically means we went to a pawn shop to look at rings. I thought we were going to someone's house, so when we pulled up, I immediately vocalized the fact that I WAS NOT getting a ring from a pawn shop. But, Dan put his foot down, and we went in anyway, and 3 minutes in I found the perfect ring. But I didn't want to buy it, of course. Because someone else had already worn it, and it looked like it. The band was misshapen and we knew we needed to get a new one. Plus, it had been in the pawn shop for who knows how long, and it was dingy. So we looked at all the other jewelry (hideous), and then went to Helzberg's, which was 5 minutes away. Picking out a ring is like picking out a puppy. You need to form an attachment right away or you'll hate it forever. And I just couldn't feel anything for any of the Helzberg's rings. Plus, I couldn't stop thinking about that estate sale ring from the 50's that was just so unique and beautiful! 1 carat diamond, double shank with 8 little diamonds inlayed, that turned into a solid shank.

So we left Helzberg's and then the search for the perfect ring, a.k.a. one that looked just like the pawn shop ring, began online and turned up nada.

Sooo, long story short. Dan's dad goes back to the pawn shop for us, since he's friends with the owner and is going to try to get us a deal. He buys the ring, has it checked out at Helzberg's, where he finds out that the diamond is cracked and the prongs are so worn that we pretty much paid for nothing. Basically, the only salvageable part on the ring is the double shank, which I loved, but isn't worth a few grand.

So, unbeknownst to me, Dan's mom goes back and takes pictures of "the ring" and has it measured exactly. She then goes to a jewelry store down the street, that makes custom jewelry, and has it remade...only better. All of this is happening in Michigan at Dan's request from Chicago, while I'm totally oblivious...until he TELLS ME. I think he was so excited that I was going to get my ring that he couldn't keep it a secret.

And in my joy, instead of saying, "Thank you. You're the best and sweetest boyfriend ever." I started giving design directions. "Make sure it stands up enough that I can wear a band with it!" The other one didn't and we would have had to have a band specially made, which is a) annoying and b) then it's a weird shape and you can't wear it alone. You always have to wear it with your ring.

So even longer story shorter. We're in Costa Rica with Dan's family (mom, dad, sister, brother, brother's girlfriend). Dan's parents have brought the ring with them and Dan hasn't even seen it yet because it was finished 2 days before they got on a plane. Because all of this happened in the span of a less than 2 months, I thought there was NO CHANCE that he would propose in Costa Rica. No one could have a ring made in that short amount of time! Plus everyone was saying, "I bet he proposes!" So, then I also thought he wouldn't just to prove people wrong. He's very stubborn.

But, ladies and gentleman, he proved me wrong and all of you right and proposed, at the tide pools, in Costa Rica, under the ruse, "Let's find the perfect rock to remember the trip by!" (even though it was only Day 2!) with a beautiful ring that sparkled way more than the pawn shop ring and was just "me." A little vintage, a little modern and totally awesome! AND, not only did it have the double shank, the designer added an extra diamond to each side and made it stand up (He DOES listen sometimes!) So I now have my vintage 50's ring, but no one's ever worn it except me and that's exactly how I hoped it would be. :)

Aaaaand, here's the ring. It's hard to see all the detail until you're up close. For a bigger picture, and to see pics of our Costa Rica trip, check out my flickr.

WOOO! Let the wedding planning begin. <---Don't let this sentence fool you. I've been stockpiling ideas for our wedding for almost a year! ;)

The good, the bling, and the ugly

So, Dan and I have had a debate going. I mean, it’s more like I’m having an internal debate because Dan’s already made up his mind, but I still think I’m right. So I’m coming to you, dear readers, to get your opinion on this matter.

We’ve been talking lately about marriage and babies, etc…one a little more than others of course. And talk got serious when we went to visit Dan’s friend and his cousin, both of whom just had babies with their wives, 10 weeks and 12 weeks ago respectively. *I honestly don’t even know what “respectively” means at the end of a sentence but it seems appropriate here.

So anyway, our talk: I casually (and soberly, can you believe it?) asked Dan if he had thought about marriage and babies, etc...and he replied, “Yeah. OF COURSE.” like I had just asked him if he was a guy and he liked meat. I actually felt my face turn red for asking such a no-brainer question, until I remembered that I’m not a mind reader and him thinking about it is NOT the same as us discussing it!

So then I got worried. Not because I don’t want to do all of those things with Dan. I’m only worried about one thing—THE RING. Dan and I have…how should I put it nicely? Different tastes. As in, he wears combat boots, and not the cute, I-look-like-a-chimney-sweep kind of boots. His are chunky doc martins. And if you see him wearing a shirt that he didn’t own in high school, I probably picked it out.

So when I mentioned that if he’s thought about it, he probably realizes that most women get to pick out their ring, or at least help, and he said, “Absolutely not,” I died just a little inside.

Because here’s the thing. Dan is very particular about EVERYTHING. If he’s making a big purchase, or even a little one, he’ll research it for days on end and read product reviews until he’s sure he’s found the perfect one. He’s not an impulse buyer. So I know whatever he gets, is going to be high quality and he’ll get it for a steal. But is it going to be something I’ll want to wear for the rest of my life? THAT is the question.

Maybe I’m being too much of a control freak, but if I have to look at it every day, and wear it for the next 70 years (and yes, I’m going to live until 96 because any older would just be too old), then I want the ring to be a timeless beauty that fits my style, and I want it to feel comfortable on my hand, and I want to love it.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that if I was picking out something that Dan would have to live with forever, he’d want to be right there giving his input. I mean, I bought him a really nice wallet for Christmas two years ago, and he refuses to use it, even though it would make me super happy, because it's a tri-fold, which apparently sticks out too far when you put it in your pocket. Who knew?! Instead, he’s using one that’s been on its last leg for the past 5 years. Does that sound like a guy who would let ME pick out HIS engagement ring if the tables were turned?

So that’s the dilemma. What do you guys think? If you’re engaged/married, did you get to help pick out your own ring or at least have some input? Am I a horrible person for not thinking, “Oh, I’ll love it just because it came from the heart?” I'm afraid I just won't have those feelings unless it came from my heart too. It's not like I had an ugly baby and I HAVE to love it. It's a piece of jewelry that's going to represent our union, so it should be a joint effort picking it out, riiiiiight? I've got about 12 more arguments for the pro Leah side, but none of them have worked on Dan.

Most of the women I’ve asked say that they helped pick it out or at least had some input. All the men (including Dan) say the proposal loses the element of surprise if you know it’s coming. But I disagree. I don’t want to know when or how he’s going to propose, I just don’t want to be blindsided by ugly bling.

I mean HAVE YOU SEEN Jessica Simpson's ring? I'm just trying to avoid a disaster like THIS ONE.