How I survived my first happy hour

Remember how I said I have to rock it at work for a whole month before I get hired permanently? Well, I had my first happy hour last week, which was also the company's birthday party. What does this have to do with my job security? Only EVERYTHING. I already failed the Jenga test, in which we played Jenga in hopes of beating their last record of 34 rows. I, of course, am the one who knocked it over at just 31 rows crushing their Jenga Olympics dreams. To be fair, no one else had anything on the line besides their dignity, whereas I was told, "This is part of your interview." I didn't even know my hands could sweat like that without being in mittens. PRESSURE!!

So back to the happy hour. After an inflatable pool rolled past my desk, I knew I would have to pace myself if I didn't want a repeat of the first work happy hour at my last job, in which I spilled a beer on a coworker, passed out on the blue line with a half-eaten quesadilla on my lap and woke up 5 train stops past the one I needed. Luckily, no one stole my quesadilla, or my purse, while I was taking my little nap.

I figured the pool would act as a cooler for the beer. Nope! It was a ball pit!! I'm not going to divulge too much detail about the happy hour, because I don't know how much my company wants floating around the internet about their inter-office antics, but I can tell you that I ate cupcakes, drank wine until my face was tingly, but not until I was tired enough to pass out on the train, and almost drove a rascal. But, since I'm a terrible driver sober and didn't want to crash their brand new office vehicle, I resisted! WILL POWER at its finest.

And now, this is the part of my blog where I pass on very valuable advice, to you, my blogging buddies.

VALUABLE ADVICE: If you think you can't control yourself around booze and other people, (and who would blame you if you can't?) just do what I did. LEAVE after only an hour and half, even if you don't want to. You'll thank yourself in the morning, especially when your coworkers are going through their receipts to piece the rest of the night together and you're not even hungover because you fell asleep so early, it's almost shameful. I mean, people might think you're 25 going on 70 if they found out just how early we're talking here. And remember this, there will be plenty of time for you and your new coworkers to black out together, but you'll be happy that it didn't happen in your first week of employment. At least I am.